Lefty

As you know left-handed people have all the advantages in this world. They are more creative, smarter and better looking. Oh sure, some righties have done O.K. for themselves, but by and large we play second fiddle to the lefties. Of all their advantages, the most obvious is their easier path to professional baseball. There will always be a need for left handed pitching.

Like most of the losers, I was born right handed. But I didn't take it laying down, I tried to better myself one summer while I was still in high school. I didn't pick up a saxophone or take summer classes, I wasn't patient enough for that. No, I went for the quick fix. I spent a few months trying to throw with my left hand. No luck. I still can't do it, I try on occassion but it's very awkward.

When Lucas was very young I had high hopes for him. He would sometimes pick up a ball and throw it with his left hand. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. I had hopes of my son pitching in the major leagues. I would be the proudest person on the planet. My excitement knew no bounds. Litterally, my eyes would swell with tears of joy anytime he tried to throw something. However, he has since to become dominant with his right hand. I wanted to tie his right arm to his waist to help him along, but Kim wouldn't let me. It turns out a couple of hours here and there wouldn't do the trick, and she would never leave for long periods. So Lucas is stuck being a righty. Like all my other dreams this one died without coming to fruition. Just another setback in a long, unfulfilled life.

Then came Jack. He seems like he will be more athletic than his older brother, and he's cute as hell. Sharing Kim's genes we have no doubts about his intelligence. The only thing standing between him and the top of the world seems to be his dominant hand. He's a righty. Or is he?

Luckily he fell out of bed last week. And while his face and forehead looked like he had been mistreated, it did heal sooner than expected. The silver lining seems to be a broken right arm. It's not really broken. But he has been holding it gingerly, not using it much and complaining when it is touched. Kim took the boys swimming the other day and another woman at the pool spotted a bruise on his shoulder and said it looked just like the bruise her son had when he broke his collar bone. Kim took him in for an X-ray, it's not broken but he still isn't using the arm very much. I can only hope he gets used to being a lefty.

It's been a tough week for the little guy. In addition to everything else he took a spill on the sidewalk and cut open his chin. The bleeding was such that Kim nearly passed out (the sight of blood has a strong effect on her side of the family). She called me home from work with worry that he'd need stitches. The level-headed husband says "Call 911, not me." The prudent husband, however, rushes home instead of pointing out his wife's hysteria. No stitches were administered, though he did let us apply a band aid. We'll see if he scars. Chicks dig those, or so I hear. So even if the pitching doesn't pan out he'll still have his looks to fall back on.